How to Get the Guy by 50Minutes

Author:50Minutes
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: 50Minutes.com
Published: 2018-02-15T14:08:48+00:00

KEEPING A CONVERSATION GOING

What should you talk about? Once again, there is no magic formula for the perfect conversation – it will always depend on the personalities of the people involved. This means that if you know what the person you are talking to is interested in, you will already be at an advantage. If you do not know them well, try starting with a more general topic (work, the city, etc.), which will usually lead into a more specific topic of conversation that will allow them to open up more. This means that there is no point in preparing a mental list of topics beforehand – it is always best to simply let the conversation flow naturally.

However, there is one golden rule: talking about private matters (meaning anything extremely personal, such as the death of a loved one or a traumatic experience) the first time you meet someone, or on the first date, is highly inadvisable. If you start talking about these kinds of things right off the bat with someone you do not know particularly well, it can give them a bad impression – they may think that you do not have any boundaries, or that everyone knows everything about you.

It is also important to remember that any conversation should be balanced. Of course, there are always going to be moments when one person talks for a little bit longer about a particular topic, but overall you should both be speaking for approximately equal amounts of time. If one person starts monopolising the conversation, it can quickly become off-putting, as the other person will start to feel like the speaker is ignoring them in favour of listening to the sound of their own voice, and will lose interest in the conversation, no matter how interesting it might be.

“Once, I decided to set two of my friends up, since both of them had been single for a long time. They went out for dinner, and she started telling him long-winded stories that he had absolutely no interest in – and worse still, she never noticed that he was bored. He made an excuse to leave after an hour and a half, and he later told me that he wasn’t surprised she had been single for so long, because she talked WAY too much.” (Elaine, 28)

What if you just don’t click? If someone is feeling tired, stressed, grumpy, or just not feeling chatty, any conversation with them is unlikely to be overly stimulating on that particular occasion. However, if you really like the other person and you get the impression that there were some external factors at play, then you should not let yourself be dissuaded by an early setback. Simply ask if they would like to meet you another time, and try again.

Advice from the experts

Fox also has some advice for holding a conversation with someone you are attracted to:

Give them compliments. For example, if they have got a new haircut, tell them that it suits them, but do not overdo it, as this can come across as fake and annoying.

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